This is the fifth in a series of posts that reveals how judges, lawyers, mediators, and other divorce insiders persuade their own spouses to agree to cooperative, out of court settlements.
Validate your spouse’s point of view. It doesn’t cost you anything to “allow” your soon-to-be ex to have a settlement position that differs from yours. Show that you are receptive to hearing it and that you will try to understand where he or she is coming from.
Your spouse is going to have a differing view anyway, so don’t fight it.This does not mean that you have to agree with your partner’s position; it merely requires you to accept their right to have such a position. You must also let them know that you respect their right to see things as they do.
Do not challenge their viewpoint because you will never be able to change their mind, just as they will never be able to change yours.
Our divorce courts are loaded with angry spouses that have tried unsuccessfully to convince their partners that they are right and their partner is wrong. This is a colossal waste of energy and money.
The secret to persuading your spouse to agree to an out of court settlement is not to challenge their position, but to figure out a way of working around it.
